0:08  
You are listening to social bees radio, where we put the honey in the honey pots. I'm your director rickster. And if you ever wanted to know everything and anything about web three crypto or NF T's, you're in the right place. So fasten your seat belt. Get ready. Let's get started

0:36  
Hello, hello, hello, welcome everybody, my dear friend, Wings of wisdom is here joining me live. So I'm actually really excited about our conversation today, because I think it's so purposeful, when we talk about will web three, provide more time. And then I'm gonna add in the end how we were talking about the you know, almost working harder now. That 24/7 They get was Dorado was saying that in regards to we're now this web three world, there's never enough time. And I would say that's because of one Twitter spaces. And because it's global, like we're communicating globally now. And that is 24/7. And I know that we've even adjusted our time slot to be able to accommodate, we used to have a little bit of a later time slot. And we had a harder time connecting with our, our European audience. And we, as you could see, really draw in a global audience based on you know, the speakers you've already heard today. And so we needed to adjust that. And, and it is, you know, you find that when people are working, maybe their nine to five will the only time that they can focus on a web three, building a an empire or building a project or, or really inventing their why? Well, that's done from, you know, the evening hours or in the middle of the night or early in the morning. And so it's definitely almost say, technology has provided some incredible opportunities. But technology has also created some incredible

2:30  
anxiety and feeling that FOMO because now we know about all the things that are happening that maybe we're not part of, or we feel we should be doing, that we may be never had a clue that, you know, we could be participating in or that those were even ideas. So it's like this harmony of because you know, I don't like to use the word balance, but this having discernment, right? Going back to what's my why? Why am I getting up out of bed each morning? What is it that drives me? What is my purpose? What is my calling? And am I actually living that and putting in each conversation. And each thing that I do throughout my day? Is that pushing me closer to the overall goal of that why? And I'll be completely honest, I fail every single day on this. And that is why being involved in a community is so vital. And so we are part of a larger community, which is the SBU Tao, it's social BS University. We are really dedicated to the education of all. And so when we talk about, you know, women in web three, when we talk about diversification, when we talk about the education that is needed, the platform that is needed, the locations that are needed, for example, this space, in real life events, meetups conversations, Discord, channels, communities, I mean, I could go on and on and on. These things are needed, so that we all understand, okay, maybe if I can find my tribe, I don't need to worry about the FOMO I don't need to worry about what's going on outside of my community, because everything is happening within my community. And I actually have access and knowledge of those things. And I'm here to tell you that our community has that we are really, really dedicated to that platform of education and community. And we want to make sure that you feel served and heard. And so I think that that's just so vital and why these conversations are important because we can be over inundated with that noise as you were talking about that. We almost go well which way do we go? Which Which direction do I go? Over here do I do over here? Well, they're doing this and they're doing that. And then you feel like all of a sudden, you're like, you've lost your why you've lost your focus. And you've lost your time as kind of what I had geared this, this topic to today. And then we end up being all over the place. And so, you know, I want to just, you know, during each program, I always want to make sure everybody knows that the community that we branch from and are part of, is this social BS University, and you can go into our YouTube channel, over 700 hours of education are there as well, and all are welcome to join our Discord channel. But we want you to be part of our community and very purposeful and to know what your y is, I'm going to actually say adjust that for a moment that not everybody even knows what their y is. And actually, maybe I'll put that down, I'm going to put that down as a topic conversation for a few future program because I've actually taught this and how to identify what your Y is based on, you know, what your heart is, what your skill set is, what are you called to do? And, you know, there's some things that we can dive into in that conversation. So I just wrote that down. But I want to go to our next speaker who I appreciate your patience. W x m, will you go ahead and unmute yourself, tell everybody who you are, what you do. And I want you to feel comfortable to elaborate or comment on anything that has already been discussed. And then I'm going to pose some direct questions to you. Welcome to honey radio today. Hi,

6:35  
thanks so much for having me today. I'm Sofia, and the community manager for women actually matter and also the original artist as well. And I came on board in I think it was February after I was the actual artist for the collection. And then I was asked to be community manager. And, and I absolutely love it. And I love to get to know people in the spaces and obviously just few faces any other. I do know already. I haven't seen Laurie in so long. So when I seen that she was in I was like yeah, and

7:07  
I was thinking the same thing. So feel sorry for interrupting. I was like,

7:11  
here, and oh, say you. Oh my god, I can't believe you didn't Yeah, but um, yeah, it's really nice to see it and like, yeah, interesting conversation today. It's it's weird because I've been through I've been self employed myself like so I'm a freelancer and freelance graphic designer and I've worked for myself for a few years now. So I've kind of been flexible with my own time. But I work on eastern time now. And obviously, I'm in the UK. So it's a bit different for me like the perspective of my time. All I've got to be flexible with it on a completely different time. Like schedule. So my friends and my family we partner so that can be quite difficult. I tend to work through the night, and like I get off late and I go to bed late because obviously I'm it's five I was behind in New Jersey where the rest of the team are and that fits me well because I've always kind of been like a night owl. So it has suited me well. But it's catching up with me a little bit like, like today. I'm so tired. Everyone around me has got COVID and I've been to events last Friday, where everyone caught over from and I think I thought that I dodged the bullet. I feel like it's kind of it's crap on me. And my family. I've just hit a wall today I'm tired. I've got a headache. So I've took a test. But as soon as I'm negative so far, but But yeah, so it's difficult. It's difficult for me because obviously, as I said, coming from England, I'm on a completely different time schedule. But I definitely feel like web three can provide a lot more time for people because say for example, you know, you need to if you've I don't have kids, but you know, if your kids have got like a parents evening or something you can always you could always be there whereas 20 years ago, my parents couldn't do that because they had to do a nine to five job didn't work for themselves, they had to be on someone else's time. Whereas now you can you can kind of schedule your meetings around everything that you're doing personally, which is really beneficial I think. I think it's the same with every kind of like start a company like obviously within the start of web three kind of relatively new so everything takes a lot of hours to put in at the start and then we'll kind of reap the benefits I think in a few years and be able to have a lot more freedom with our time.

9:35  
I love that and thank you for being really transparent in regards to what's going on in your personal life. And you know you mentioned about friends and family being in you know, you being tired and friends and family maybe struggling with COVID due to the event that you were at recently and you know working on an East Coast timezone while you live in UK. What are some of the Do you have any really great Wisdom and I'm going to tell you it's okay. If you say no, I don't. In regards to time management, how are you? Maybe creating success to achieve things as a freelance graphic designer, being self employed Community Manager for a project? How do you how do you structure your time? And do you work in? Do you? Do you do like an eight hour or as you mentioned, it's easy to schedule meetings around our life events, and you know, that can be good and or bad sometimes, because then now all of a sudden, you actually can be available, it just might be an inconvenient time zone for us. What are your thoughts on that?

10:49  
Yeah, so I find myself like, you know, I've got a space or a meeting to go to what I know that we've got a certain amount of time, that goes in modality first, and then everything else can kind of work around it, but it's, it's very flexible, that, you know, see, today, I've got this space, which was up 6pm My time, you know, I can be anywhere in the world do in this space, I can be anywhere I could be in the car, I can be at the airport. Whereas, you know, when I wants to NFT NYC like, you know, I'm waiting in the airport, and I'm on spaces and stuff and no one knows where I am, I can always get my job done no matter where and I can always live my life as well. So it's really like, I'm like a digital nomad. So it works really well for me, but I've got ADHD as well. So I have to like, like, abide by his schedule myself. And if I don't, everything just goes very messy. So you have to make sure that like I'm very like, over the top when it comes to like notes and planners and lists and things because if it's not written down, then it doesn't happen. So and then icons of, again, a bit like, I get a bit weird when we plugins messed up. So I'm going to try to kind of work my way around that as I've got older. 128 no one I'm only, I'm only just now figuring out like how I work mentally, and how I work like, you know, how I can get on with me where I can not get distracted and stuff. So I have to work from home because you are with around people, I get very easily distracted, and I get nothing done. So I work from home and make sure everything goes in the diary. And then I can kind of, I'm really happy with the hours that I do. So I do like four hours a day, and community management for this project on. And then you know, if I'm jumping on a different project, I can do four hours with them or, or two hours or something, but I can always get what I want done. And I can you know, let's just say like, I don't miss a dinner or, like me partners not angry because I'm always worth and type of thing. Like, it's not like that, like I'm very flexible in what I do and the team who will work with as well as, like, really understand that and we kind of just all work around each other. So, you know if I, I I seen the message come through today about joining this space and say Hi, I've been in the social beef space for ages I heard holy radio, like I'll jump into that one. I'll speak to them and I like you know, if it's interesting to someone else, then one of the founders will jump in or and we just sometimes we all jump in a room together and we just wait around each other and it's worked really well to be honest. And because we all get on so well. We don't have any there's no friction, we just just let everyone do their own thing. So yeah, it works really well. Sorry, I'm rambling a bit, which makes me say, I think I've got brain fog. I'm like COVID

13:35  
That's funny. I love it. I love it. You mentioned several things that I wrote down and you know, regards to the advantage that we can do. As digital nomads, we can work anywhere, anytime. And that can be a beautiful thing. And it can also be a burden. So I call it a blessing and a burden. Because I'm the same way that I can pretty much operate my businesses anywhere in the world at any time. That can be a challenge. And that do you ever really read? Do you ever really take a vacation? Do you ever really you know unplug and how intentional we must be in doing that and the you know because we have access everywhere 24/7 Do you find that to be a struggle a savannah

14:35  
Yeah, so like yeah, I never have a day off really like and I like I said I mentioned I think because I've got ADHD that could be that's one of the reasons why I'm with an all the time because my brain doesn't rest so I really do struggle to slow down. Because what I feel like once you slow down or stop, it's so hard to get back going again. So I'm Just all guns blazing all the time, like full speed ahead, and, you know, me friends and family around me. So you slow down, like, you know, you can have a rash, you can have a day off, but because I think because I, I love what I do so much. It doesn't like it sounds cliche, but I honestly do, and I love what I do. So, I do wake up, and I just, I feel like, I'm so lucky to do what I do. And I wasn't made for the nine to five office life, like I tried and failed miserably at it. And then, you know, like as as nucleus progressed, over the years, I've kind of found what I've gotten to make room for FAR, but I wanted to do so like, you know, I do struggle to have a day off. But, you know, I'll find like I enjoy like outdoors and you know, hiking and things like that. So I'm quite lucky in the fact that we found doesn't work at the top of a mountain, and which is quite beneficial sometimes because I can't get any service. And I'm kind of forced to have a bit of a breakdown. And that's when I can fully relax when there's no Wi Fi or there's no server so many phones that go on off.

16:05  
No, I totally can relate, you know, my, my mentor, Dan, they're one of my, you know, the thought leaders of our community when I talk about because I too have ADD or if you know, ADHD, however you want to classify it, he has informed me that I need to start now referring to it as hyper creativity. And and so I fully embrace that and know that we just have this massive amount of creativity with limited time. And does that not also relate to the topic today that there are all these things we want to do? But we really do need to hone in to the fact of are they purposeful to our why and to her calling? And so we have to have that discernment. I'll go back to that. And the wisdom to go, okay, timeout now you know, you need to go do you need to go be still. And even in our moments of feeling like no, I need to do these things or the FOMO feeling or being involved or participating in all these things? Well, at the end of the day, that's just going to create burnout, and then we're no good to nobody. And then we actually lose that hyper creativity. So I call myself a creative entrepreneur, is what I list as you know, all the things that I do, because it's really hard to define what that is, and in a web three world that can almost be detrimental. And so I will kind of lean into why it's so important to maybe have the accountability partners in your life and the conversations to remind us, okay, do I need to be involved in all things? How many projects? Or do I really need to be creating? Is this going toward the goal of actually creating more time for my family? Because I think so many people want to go into maybe self employment, or excited about web three, because you think you're going to have more time, where I think we've already identified that actually, we almost feel like we have less time because of this 24/7 Global Access. And that's where we then need to be self disciplined to remind ourselves, turn your phone off, or leave it in another room fully unplug. And you know, what I find is interesting is I've actually even had to maybe announce that I can remember seasons, when I would say, don't panic, I'm turning my phone off. You're not going to have immediate access to me. So don't take it personally, if I don't text you back right away. How sad is that? A Dorado? What do you think about that? Is that does that affect any part of your life? Do you resonate with that?

18:48  
I can totally relate to that. So I'm also a freelancer, a digital nomad. I can work from anywhere, but also it means I always work so it's so difficult to unpack. And especially Yeah, it's such an easy access to technology everywhere. So my family kind of good yesterday, always checking my email always also on the weekend or in the evening. Pay my friends I really like almost shouting at me, like what are you doing in the weekend? Or you're on holiday? You shouldn't be working? Yeah, but it's, it's very, very difficult to unpack. Because there's so many things happening and not only with like with three but in general. So yeah, I can I can really hear that here.

19:31  
And I think that's why it's so important that we have these conversations to remind ourselves that we're not alone and to the importance of actually unplugging and that it is okay. Because otherwise truly at the end of the day, we're not going to be any good to anybody and then that leads into you know, all the health challenges that we have. And so my my co host here my dear friend wings, the wisdom, I think and I'm gonna say this I think she is really great at unplugging and making the decision. And basically, and I'm gonna say this in a nice way, she'll put her middle finger up at at anybody outside the world and say, Nope, I'm playing this weekend, sorry, I'm not going to tune in, I'm not going to participate, I am going to go be with my family. And y'all need to deal with that. Now, that was me and my verbiage that she would never do that, and never say it that way. But that's the admiration I have of her. Because I feel like she, at least in my viewpoint, so we're going to bring her up, but I'm going to ask her this, from me, my standpoint and all the text all the conversations or, you know, our relationship, I find it easier for her to unplug than it is for me to unplug wings and wisdom, do you agree or disagree?

20:48  
I would agree.

20:52  
And do your middle finger up at everybody,

20:55  
sometimes. I need to, um, you know, that truly comes from years of selfless giving, when I was in my 20s 30s. And then in my 40s, I started looking at my kids and thinking they got the seconds, seconds and thirds of me. And I was really frustrated by that. And so I normally give everybody else 100 100% You know, whatever I can give I tried to give. But when my kids now that they're all adults, when they choose to want to spend time with me, or if I take that family vacation, or, you know, if we're all together somewhere, I truly need to put my phone down, disconnect and tell everybody, hey, this is what I'm doing. If you don't like it, well, I didn't ask if you did or not. I'm just telling you, this is what I'm doing. So

22:01  
I want to learn, I want to ask you that when you say because I was actually saying the same thing you feel like you almost have to tell people that I'm disconnecting. Why do we feel we need to even say that?

22:15  
Well, for me, I know that other people in our community have disconnected and not said anything, and then we tend to worry, are they okay? Are they you know, did something happen, you know, that they're not telling us. So it's more for me, just to respect for everybody else that I'm involved with closely involved with, just to let them know, hey, it's time to have family time, it's time to just disconnect and be, you know, just be me without the you know, earbuds in my ear with my phone in my hand. Because I know my grandkids, I can even be sitting on the couch, and I'll be texting or doing something and they're like grandma, hello, you know, just pay attention to me. And I'm like, shame on me. I did this with my kids. And you know, granted, we didn't have tiny cell phones, you know, little computers in our hands 24/7, which I'm very thankful for. But I don't want to give them second best. And they're the most important people in my life. So you know, that's how it's just a learning curve for me.

23:23  
I totally agree with you, it. You know, my kids, I would say, especially during the years when I was building my business, and really trying to identify who I was. And I would say that was for sure. Like in my early 30s. And here I was raising four kids. So for kids under the age of five, and really just trying to figure out who I was, and create my own identity outside of being a mom and a wife, I wanted to be Melanie. And I think women really, you know, if we get to the root of it, I really struggle harder, I think than men do in that identity crisis and identity role, and how often our identity shift and significantly shift from the seasons of when we are with our young kids, you know, through those years to then when you are now you know kids out of the house like you and I are so similar and we that's why we relate to each other so much that our children are grown out of the house and now we're grandmas and it's a whole different energy, where when you say you know, kids were getting the second and thirds of me. I wrote that down because I totally resonated, although I still always showed up doesn't mean I wasn't thinking of my business, my employees and all the things in the My visionary of all the things I wanted to do. I was always maybe my mind was elsewhere. Maybe I was physically there, but not you know emotionally and mentally always present in that moment for things so I'd show up but it doesn't mean I was present if you if you got me and so I too have been In that season of basically saying yes to my kids, and I'm gonna be honest, maybe not so much to my husband, but to like, this poor husband still, you know, although we were we are, we know, we're supposed to, you know, make sure that those relationships continue when the kids leave. Well, that'll be another topic for another day. My husband and I have been together now 33 years and, you know, poor, poor bill, he still gets the seconds and thirds. I'm not proud of that. But I did talk, I think it was last week, I mentioned how I intentionally left my phone in the other room to sit with him. And it was so funny, that awkward silence. And I actually announced him just so you know, because I wanted that, you know, words of affirmation credit, I did actually leave my phone in the other room, so that I could really make sure that I wasn't distracted. I mean, that's kind of pathetic, in a way, and I'm saying me being pathetic, but in this season of yesterday, my kids, and that's what I why I didn't reopen my business, I wanted the freedom. So I thought, in the sense of time freedom to be able to say yes, now, while I'm in that, I'm now you know, as we were already discussing, we're accessible everywhere, in anywhere, so I can work wherever I'm at. And that 1,000% creates challenges. Now I'm gonna quiz our audience here, and I have a feeling that you are going to know what I'm talking about. But you just said, you know, about, you know, free to just be me. Well, that reminded me of a song. And, and this thing that we had played when I was probably in I know, it was an elementary school being in the gymnasium slash cafeteria, and they played the show, free to be you and me, I think is what it was called. And so do you. Do you have childhood memories of that? And do you remember that? I'm curious when he's a wisdom?

27:02  
I do have, you know, when you said that, I'm like, Oh, I do remember something. But unfortunately, from my past, I have blocked a lot of things out just because of a lot of issues that I've had, but I do remember something about that. But I do feel that, you know, being you know, you talked about your husband and stuff and just been disconnected and you wanted those words of affirmation, which I totally understand because bounder is very much, you know, pay attention when I'm talking to you pay attention. And I can still be doing 15 Other things at one time and listening to him. But is that giving the best of me, and I feel like what you did with Bill that's so important to be able to, you know, might have been silent, but I bet that meant the world to him just to have that. So I love that you did that. I know that's totally off topic, but I just wanted to tell you, Oh, all

28:00  
things are off topic yet they do still late because in a sense, it's all about, you know, time when three women are responsibilities or identity, all the things that we deal with 24/7. So I always say like, all things relate, because one, we just spoke about them. So obviously, it's important. And so I'm pulling up there as Marlo Thomas and Friends free to be you and me. And isn't that what this space is specifically about is we want everybody to be free to be me, I want to be free to be me. I want to show up authentically, I want to tell you about, you know, all the things that I'm dealing with, personally, professionally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially, like, let's have those conversations. Because at the end of the day, you know, somebody is going to be able to relate to that I may have been able to plant a seed in somebody that says, I need to chill out, I'm being too hard on myself. Or maybe I need to step it up because I'm not doing enough toward my why. And so at the end of the day, that is my main reason for this channel is so that I can show up and say, for at least two hours a day that you're gonna get reality, you're going to get, you know, the highs are high, the lows are low, let's have the conversation. And at the end of the day, it really is about can we be better, do better, and show up better 1,000% But also brace within all of those and all the seasons of being a woman in real life and in this web three world that we are shaping. And that's why I think the conversations about the challenges we face 24/7 are so important so that as we shape web three world and what that looks like, what are some solutions and conversations we can have because I always like to say yeah, let's talk about the chat. challenges, but let's also talk about those solutions. And, and what can we do to, you know, maybe create more time. And, and we were talking about, you know, scheduling and planners, you know, one of our speakers was talking about that, and, and, you know, those are so purposeful so that we know when to show up, and how to show up and what we're showing up for. But also, I think it's so unfortunate that we almost need to say, and block off self care time. And so w XM. Talk to me about, you know, your planning process of your day, if you even you know, what that looks like? What is that for you? You mentioned, because you do schedule, you have planners, you have lists, do you have favorite resources that maybe you can share with those that are listening in or may watch the recording

30:53  
yet. So I use, I use different, like, project management tools. So notion to me is a really good tool. Because you can kind of make as many lists or as little list as you want and put as much detail in, like, for example, my friends laugh at me because like I said, I make a list for the office. And so we speak about, for example, going on holiday. So I'm the person who makes the spreadsheets and goes, right, here's the link to the flight. Here's the link to this, here's the link to that. And they're like, Wow, you're mad. And I'm like, I know, but if I don't do this, this is how my brain works. And if I don't do it, then it's not gonna happen. And I'll forget all about it.

31:32  
Are you a person that will put down something on your list that you've already done? And it wasn't there just so you can cross

31:40  
it off yet? Because of the whys. Yep.

31:44  
Because it's a feeling and sense of accomplishment.

31:48  
Exactly. If that's it, it's like just that little serotonin boost of being able to check something off your list and know that, you know, you've remembered to do it. And, you know, it's done. And like, I love that. Yeah, so use or use notion, I have it on the phone, I use it for every single client, I use it for all the personal stuff, whether it's a shopping list, you can create it all you want, or you can use templates as well. And I'd really suggest you use none if someone's looking for project management tool level software that are needed just not really found one because I've used to use Trello. And that's just it just didn't work with my brain at all. So yeah, I've got a hot notion, I swear, I'm not on commission for this as I am. But

32:31  
no, I asked, and that's what this is about. It's about us, you know, really talking about those tools and resources that we are currently using to create success. And several times, you've kind of what I love about you being you know, 28 year old and so Wings of wisdom. and I both have, you know, children, our children are in your age range. And the fact that you you've mentioned several times about well, this is who you are, and this is how you work best. I think it's such a testament to you, because most women at your age, you know, maybe don't know who they are yet and how they are most productive, or the challenges that maybe not that that software, that system is not going to work for me, I need to find something that will create success. And I really admire that in you would you say that came from your upbringing, was that something you learned in school? Where did that you know, self identification come from, for you to be able to create the success that you have.

33:34  
It's come from kind of being it's definitely not come from family, I'm a bit of a estranged from the family too, let's say so I've kind of I've always had to do things for myself. So I think that's why I've always had to be self sufficient and things like that. So my, my kind of thought processes, if I don't do something for myself, and I don't, you know, I don't create lists, or I don't write things down and get things done that it's not going to get done. And we're never gonna get like, I'm not going to be at the place that I want to be. No one else is going to do it for me. So I need to do it myself. So I think I've been quite mature from a young age. So now we're 28 I feel like I'm probably above 68 in the ads. But yeah, it's just something that like, I've just, I've learned myself and I've it's a lot of trial and error that I've gone through as well of failing and, you know, like, suffering the brunt of that as well of like failing jobs and not knowing like starting a job and quitting a job and just not knowing what I wanted to do. And then as soon as I found something that I wanted to do just grabbed it with both hands on just like just ran within found like researched and educated myself on everything I can to to possibly be the best version of myself for for myself and for everyone around me as well. Because like this could be off topic, but like you know, growing up I've had like I had a bit of a toxic upbringing. So I Don't want to bring that into like my future as well, all of the people around me. So no one wants to be around a toxic person. So I try and kind of the way I organize my life is I pull things into lists. And I just feel like it just helps me just day to day with ever since. So, you know, I have like really bad executive dysfunction with Avid ADHD. So having these lists and things and remembering, you know, making schedules in the phone that like, if my friend needs me to go to attend the doctor's appointment with them, it's in the phone. So we'll forget, because I remember how I felt of, you know, my period of forgot my, my hospital appointment when I was a kid. So I do things now that I know that I wanted when I was younger, and that other people would want as well and that I would want from my friends. So even just using it on a personal note, like lists and stuff like that has obviously changed my life.

35:49  
That's so beautiful. And I am already like I I feel that energy of what a beautiful friend you are. I'm curious what your birth order is.

36:00  
What do you mean by your firstborn?

36:04  
I'm the youngest,

36:05  
you're the baby interesting. So the fact that you're not selfish and self entitled. And, you know, I say these things, because you know, a lot of what you were originally saying, You know what, that self sufficient, you know, no one else will do it, for me is very much a firstborn trait, you know, and then when you were talking about your concern, and, you know, care for others, and how would you feel if somebody showed up you in a certain way, so you want to make sure that you're not dishonouring somebody that's such a middle child, you know, mentality, and then to hear that you're actually the youngest, which typically, you know, the siblings tend to either do for them all things, you know, but you did kind of hint to some things, you know, within the family some, I find that fascinating. Is there anything you want to add to that being the youngest child?

37:04  
Yeah, like, it's something that I've kind of experienced, like, a lot of my life, like people, like get surprised that I am the youngest of I'm the youngest of three. So there's a bit of an age gap between my siblings, so they're, they're 36 and 37. And both have families of their own and kids and, you know, husbands and wives and things like that. And they, they kind of they left home, so I was young, so I was left at home. So because they've moved on type of things. So well, like my sister, my older sister is more like me, mom, she basically like raised me so she's very, like, very strong minded female, and that's where I've got a lot of, like, a lot, a lot of my strengths from things like that, and the self sufficiency type of thing, because we were just it was like Mimi says that we weren't less left to fend for ourselves. But you know, it was kind of like that emotionally anyway, so she she taught me a lot and we're still very close to this day. And she's like me mom still to this day. But yeah, people do people say that like about being the youngest, like, you know, the dynamics in families, the oldest the middle child, and I think the dynamics of my family was my dad's was the middle child. And he our typical middle child syndrome, as he says, so he then then when he had his own kids made sure there was that dynamic was not there, but it somehow led to me being the black sheep type.

38:36  
Well, you know, it's interesting when you mentioned you know, that age gap will actually then you know, anytime you've got almost like a five year I think it's like a five year age gap, you do almost become that you know, it's a totally different and it's not really a generation but it's the birth order no longer applies, because you don't have that one right after another. So with that age gap, it very much does make you where you are on your own. And it makes sense you need to about the self sufficiency and I would imagine your parents retired by that point because I can tell you, you know, my older too and again, I had four and five years so my older two children are completely different than my younger two children. And let me explain you know, my firstborn is very much like me in regards to the leadership she's a Leo very determined and very, very much wants to be intentful purposeful and have a voice and you know, number one wants to be succeed. She is a gold you know, received a gold medal for track and in Maryland, the Maryland truck meets and stuff so for our entire state, she has won gold in our division, and then my second born is the middle daughter since three girls and then a Boy. So the second one is definitely the mediator, people pleaser. And she was the one that went in and a fourth grade teacher. And she ended up getting two degrees because she actually wanted to maybe outdo her, her older sister, she's always trying to keep up. And she too is a gold state medalist for Maryland and track and field. And then we have the third born, which is the the youngest daughter, who is my free spirit. And at the age of 22, she just turned 23, you know, is why I'm a grandma, and I can't even imagine my life, you know, without him, the grandbaby and her and then we have Billy and you know, God love Billy the fourth. And, you know, it's just he's, you know, spoiled rotten. And, you know, but also, he's very kind and considerate. But it's interesting the drive so let me say that, you know, that energy, the drive the passion, and kind of where they all are at their lives, the total difference between the older two and the younger two, because by the time the third one came, I was tired. And so I talked about that and I want to be real about that.